Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A stepfather perseveres through Hurricane Katrina to bring the story of his stepson with Down syndrome to press

From The Mississippi Press:


PASCAGOULA, Miss. -- Hurricanes, hardship and the death of son couldn't stop Mike Gilly from sharing his story of a special needs stepson who brings him joy.

Against all odds, the Pascagoula man's first book, "Best Friends, The story of Derek," published by Bezalel Books, was released this month four years after Hurricane Katrina destroyed virtually all of the copies of the original version.

"My intent was to self publish the book," said Gilly (pronounced Jilly). "We went to a local printer and made 500 copies in 2005. About a month later, guess who shows up? Katrina."

The books were in three stores. One store was flooded. Another storeowner put the books in his car, which was swept away by floodwaters. The other store was vandalized.

But that didn't discourage Gilly, whose home was devastated by water damage during the hurricane.

After picking up the pieces of his life, he picked up where he left off in the book.

A labor of love honoring best friends, the newly expanded book that now also includes stories from 2005 through 2009 is a tribute to Gilly's stepson Derek Medjesky, who has Down Syndrome, and his friendships with Pat McIlwain and Matt Deason.

Gilly's book is available on the Internet at amazon.com or barnesandnobles.com or locally at Bayou Rentals on Ingalls Avenue in

Pascagoula.

"I wanted everybody to know the story about Derek and Pat," Gilly said, adding that McIlwain also has Down syndrome. "They have been big buddies since they met at the Jackson County Exceptional School and they are still big buddies. Throughout their friendship, these two guys have done some funny, funny stuff."

The father of six and grandfather of seven had been collecting heartwarming and humorous stories about Derek since 1988, when the boy was in junior high school. The book also includes Derek's exploits on the Pascagoula High School football team.

"The hero of the book is Coach Dan Bland," said Gilly. "Coach Bland was wonderful to Derek."

The former Pascagoula High School football coach included Derek on the football team after Derek's mother Karen asked if he could play.

"We expected Derek to be a water boy or something," Gilly said. "But Derek put on pads and played in the junior varsity games. He ended up getting 15 career touchdowns."

Derek dressed out with the varsity football team, too, but remained on the bench, lifting the entire school's spirits with his enthusiastic cheers.

"He was a great inspiration, and when he would get on the field, people would say, 'There's Derek,' and it would make me so proud. The band would play loud and Derek would get to dancing. The coach could have told us, 'I'm not going to put this handicapped boy on the team,' but he did."

The book entertains, uplifts and inspires as Derek now 24 struggles through a stroke, discrimination and the death of one of his brothers, Michael Anthony Gilly, who was murdered on Valentines Day 2005 in his apartment at the University of South Alabama campus in Mobile. The younger Gilly was 27 and close to finishing a degree in mechanical engineering at the time of his death.

"I ended Part I of the book because of that," the author said, adding that Derek took his brother's death hard. "I've never actually seen Derek cry except at Michael's funeral."

Derek has always shown courage when faced with challenges. He was 19 when he collapsed in his high school parking lot with a stroke.

"It turned my life upside down and it turned the school upside down," Gilly said. "I al ways knew people loved Derek. But I truly didn't know how much he was loved until he had a stroke. Students from the school came to visit him at the hospital in Ocean Springs and they followed him to rehab in Gulfport. They checked on him night and day. Those kids are the ones who got him out of the wheelchair and up walking."

Derek's involvement with the Knights of Columbus, the DREAM Program, and Special Olympics also is featured in the book. And several stories are focused on the friendships Gilly formed while working for 34 years as a production planner at Northrup Grumman Shipbuilding. The book also includes the author's journey to become a deacon.

Gilly last month was ordained into the Permanent Deaconate of the Catholic Diocese of Biloxi by the Most Rev. Roger Morin, Bishop of Biloxi. Known as Deacon Mike, he serves Our Lady of Victories Parish in Pascagoula, where he has been a lifelong parishioner and a former student at its school until the ninth grade when he left to attend Pascagoula High School to take shop.

"I talk a little about my deacon class and the guys that took that class and I talk a little about my co-workers in the book," he said. "The book is a tribute to best friends, but the big story is Derek.

The book is a tribute to Matt Moorehead, who was quarterback on the football team when Derek was the running back, Gilly said. Moorehead is recovering after being injured in a four-wheeler accident.

Gilly said he hopes the stories provide comfort and hope for parents struggling with their child's Down Syndrome diagnosis.

"It is a wonderful feel-good book and it gives you a happy ending," he said. "There are some sad stories and some humor and I think it will help people to understand what life is like with a Down child."

Derek lives at home with his mother and the author and he works five days a week at the America's Thrift Store. Wherever Gilly goes, he takes Derek and often Derek's friends come along too.

"Whenever we play golf or swim, I try to take them with me," Gilly said. "As far as I'm concerned, Derek has been a blessing. I don't know how life would be without Derek. It would be boring. That's for sure."